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Rebuild Trust

How to begin restoring trust after discovery of an affair, porn addiction or other relationship betrayal.


If your affair has just been discovered, or if you've recently learned about your husband's life-long porn addiction, imagining that trust could someday be restored in your relationship might feel impossible right now. That makes sense. When your favorite piece of pottery falls to the ground and shatters into hundreds of tiny pieces, no one looks at the wreckage and immediately says "I can repair that and make it look brand new." Instead, you take a moment to calm yourself and grieve the loss, then you sweep up the pieces, throw them in the trash, and go shopping at Pottery Barn.


The process of rebuilding trust after infidelity looks pretty similar. The goal isn't to put things back together like they were before the betrayal was discovered. No, it's time to dump that lie-riddled relationship in the trash and let God remold the two of you into something far better.


Learning how to be worthy of trust is a long, painful, humbling, excruciating process, AND it's worth the effort.  

And here it is, as it appears in my book, Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating:

Infidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you deliberately keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.


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